Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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