I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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