so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
