I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
