glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
