How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
