Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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