I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
