I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
