I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
