I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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