some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
