Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
