after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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