lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
