Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
