yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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