I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
