It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
