when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
