in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
