Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
