google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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