My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
