I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
