Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
