Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Randomize
