his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
