this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
