CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
