she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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