My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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