It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So much Jack, so little girl.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
