He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Sober January is a disaster.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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