don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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