she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
