So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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