Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
