You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
