We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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