I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
