Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
