And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
