everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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