rhymes with "ouble enetration"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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