btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
