Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
