u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
