now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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