Rock
Scissors
Fuck
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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