Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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