Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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