thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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