I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
