Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
