Will you blow on my dice?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
