why didn't you poke me back
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize