are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
