I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I woke up under a house in Key West
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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