Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
