good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
BRING THE BAGELS
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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