Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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