She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
