i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
