I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Randomize
